The Cookie
by chibi oniyuri
Summary: Oneshot. Kenji wants a cookie, but the only one home is Kaoru. And that's where the trouble begins....


Warning: This story is AU. For that reason, some characters may be slightly OOC. I consider that perfectly normal; if they weren't born and raised before and during the Meiji Era, it's thoroughly possible that they may have wound up like this. Thus, flames saying characters are OOC will be scoffed at. Thank you.

-edit, some days later-

Okay, I keep getting reviews stating that my characters are actually in character. I was puzzled by this for a bit before I remembered that little blurb from above. Just to let you know, I wasn't overly concerned about them being OOC; I felt that I needed to say that in case the Kenshin-lovers out there decided to rail me for making Kenshin rant, or the Kaoru-lovers out there decide to string me for making her too sedate, or the Kenji-lovers out there decide to tar and feather me for….well, that's one that even I can't find a reason for, so I'm safe there. Okay, I just wanted to let you all know that this was yet another attempt to cover bases. Again.

-end edit-

Disclaimer: I borrowed Kenshin and company for my nefarious purposes, but they do not belong to me. They do, however, belong to that wonderful author and whichever company he uses to endorse them (I was never good at that retail side of things….).

* * *

"Mommy, I want a cookie." 

Kaoru blinked up from her computer and looked to her son. Her five year old bundle of energy. A look-a-like of his father, down to every last detail but his eyes, which were her own blue. She wished her son could've gotten his father's violet eyes, but she supposed the thick red hair atop his head was enough. Yep, except for the eye color, an exact look-a-like, even down to the patient mask he wore upon his face to hide the frustration within that showed in his eyes.

Wait...frustration?

"What did you say, Kenji?"

Kenji refrained from physically releasing tension through a scream or tantrum. Even at his young age, he realized that you had to wait for his mother's mind to escape fantasy when you interrupted her writing.

"Mommy, I want a cookie," he patiently repeated.

Kaoru blinked again.

"Alright, let's get you to the kitchen and get you a cookie."

She took off her spectacles and placed them next to the monitor. She stood and dropped her head to one side, rubbing at her neck to relieve the sudden cramp there as she followed her son into the kitchen. She glanced in assorted rooms along the way to find her husband but didn't see him. She decided that he was probably in the kitchen making lunch, but when she went around the corner, she didn't see him in there either. Nope, no Kenshin, just a small kid standing by one of the counters that had a plate of chocolate chip cookies on it. Kaoru grabbed a cookie off the plate and tried to hand it to Kenji, but he wouldn't take it.

"Mommy, I want a warm cookie."

Kaoru blinked again. She looked at the cookie in her hand, then back up at Kenji.

"Why would you want a warm cookie?"

Kenji repressed another sigh.

"They taste better that way."

Kaoru nodded as she understood. Chocolate chip cookies did taste better warm, with the melted chocolate and the warm dough. Utter goodness. But she had no idea how to go about getting said warm cookie. She stared at the cookie for a few moments, willing it to warm. It didn't work. She looked at Kenji again and suddenly had a plan.

"Hey, Kenji, where's Daddy?"

Kenji stopped his straight focus on the cookie for a few seconds to glance around the kitchen.

"Right! Daddy said that he needed to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner. He said he'd be right back."

Kaoru was not so good at restraining releases of frustration, one of which she let out at that point in a sigh.

"You can't wait until he comes back?"

Kenji looked up at her with wide eyes and solemnly shook his head. She sighed again.

"You help Daddy in here sometimes, right?"

She waited for his nod.

"So, how do you go about warming this up?"

Kenji looked around the kitchen and pointed at the oven.

"For things that take a long time, he puts in there."

Kaoru nodded. Yes, the oven, that would work. She went to put the cookie in there, but Kenji stopped her.

"But he uses that thing for short things because he says the oven takes too long to warm up sometimes."

Kaoru looked towards the microwave and nodded again. Yes, the microwave did make more sense. She walked over, opened the door, plopped the cookie in, and closed the door. She stared at the microwave for a few seconds before turning to Kenji once again.

"Is it done?"

Kenji shook his head.

"You have to punch in the numbers and press 'Start' to get it to work."

Kaoru turned back to the microwave and glared at the buttons.

"How long?"

"I don't know. Daddy says it depends on what you put in there."

Kaoru continued glaring at the number pad. She thought for a few moments before deciding that five minutes sounded good. She punched it in and was about to hit 'Start' when Kenji stopped her.

"I don't think it needs to be in that long, Mommy."

Kaoru looked at him, then looked back to the microwave. She'd take his word for it. She hit 'Cancel', then punched in two minutes and hit 'Start'. Both mother and son watched the little cookie on the turntable go around and around. After a few cycles, Kaoru went to the fridge to get some water, but Kenji maintained his vigil on his cookie. Thirty seconds into the warming of the cookie, Kenji called for her attention.

"Mommy, I don't think it should be doing that."

Kaoru set down her glass and walked to the microwave. She bent over and peered through the little window and did a double take. No, that did not look like something the cookie should be doing. Going merrily around in a circle while happily combusting was not her idea of what the cookie should be doing at all. She glanced around in a panic. Where was Kenshin when she had a culinary emergency? Granted, he hadn't allowed her in the kitchen after the first few accidents she'd had when they'd been dating, but...Where was he! Her eyes settled on her son.

"What do I do!"

But her son was no help whatsoever. Apparently distressed at the sight of his cookie literally going up in smoke, he had proceeded to sit on the tiled floor and cry. Kaoru glanced around in a panic before deciding to open the microwave door. Immediately, black smoke poured out and the smoke alarm went off. Kaoru grabbed the crying child, ran to the den to get her laptop, and raced out of the house to wait for the fire department to come take care of her little mess. It really was lucky that Kenshin had insisted upon that home security system that automatically called the necessary authorities when they detected odd occurrences in your home. Yes, very lucky indeed. Maybe, if her luck continued, this little mess would be done and taken care of before he got home. She could swear her son to secrecy, which she promptly did, and Kenshin would never have to know. Yes, things could possibly go her way.

- - - - - - - -

Kenshin sighed as waited for a break in traffic so he could turn onto his street. The grocery store had been more hectic than usual. The carrots hadn't been as fresh as he had hoped for. Then there was the lady that had preached to him about being more aggressive in his relationship and letting the woman do her duties when he had calmly stated that no, he was not shopping for his wife, he was picking up his supplies for dinner. Then, the meat he needed had been on sale (part of the reason why he had chosen this particular dish), but he hadn't anticipated the sheer demand for the meat. He had to wait in line to receive it after a gaggle of customers had gotten into a fight over which package they would take (which Kenshin was proud to say that he was not a part of, though he really wanted that package that the man in the overcoat had walked off with). Then he got stuck in the line with the new cashier who kept messing up in some way. He felt relieved to be getting home, to where he could calmly start dinner with his son's help while his wife typed away in the den. Then, they'd sit down as a family, eat, maybe watch a bit of TV or play a short board game before sending Kenji through a bath and to bed, so they could finally relax together. Yes, he was really looking forward to that.

A break came and he took it, pulling smoothly onto his street. He looked at various people's yards as he drove. Miss Gardner's lawn was looking a bit weak; he made a mental note to add fertilizer to it the next time she called upon him. Mr. Berrick's fence looked like it might need mending soon, and Mr. Davis's house needed washing because it had gotten egged again. It was as he was contemplating what color to recommend to Mrs. Ilie this year when he noticed the flashing red light. He decided red would be this year's theme before he turned his attention to the crowd of people near his house. He parked a ways down the road, since the crowd blocked his path, and got out to investigate. He went to the back of the crowd and asked Mr. Berrick what was going on.

"Oh, I guess someone's house caught fire. There's a couple of fire trucks and everything over there."

Kenshin noticed a bad feeling welling up inside and started trying to peer through the crowds. Curse his shortness! He finally resorted to jumping up and down and confirmed that, yes, the fire trucks were indeed in front of his house. He started pushing through the crowd, muttering "Excuse me"s and "Let me through, that's my house!" to hasten his progress. He broke through the wall of observers only to hit the wall of policeman that tried to tell him to step back. He explained that this was his house, could he please talk to someone about it? The police glanced him over and nodded him through. He raced to where he could see Kaoru standing, clutching Kenji's hand with one of hers and the laptop in the other.

"Kaoru, what happened! Are you and Kenji alright?"

He ran his hands over them both briefly, checking for injuries. Appeased for the moment that they were indeed unharmed, he turned to his wife, who was stubbornly not meeting his eyes. That piqued his interest, since the last time she had refused to make eye contact had occurred three years ago when she had splurged on a vacation to Florida and hadn't wanted to inform him immediately. Yes, something was definitely up.

"Kaoru?" he asked lowly.

He watched her closely and noticed the barely perceptible flinch that went through her frame. If he hadn't known her as well as he did, he would have missed it. Yes, his interest was definitely piqued.

"Kaoru, what is it you're not telling me?"

Again with the flinch.

"What makes you think there's something I'm not telling?"

"You mean, besides the fact that there are fire trucks outside our house, with police and firemen walking in and out the front door? Besides the fact that I had to cite living here as a reason to get past the blockade? Okay, well, besides _all of that_," he said, stressing his incredulity at her persistence to innocence, "you're not looking at me. You always look at me."

Kaoru muttered something about him being slightly arrogant, which he promptly ignored. He waited for her explanation. When it didn't come, he took to tapping his foot. He knew this irritated his wife very much, so he continued until she finally cracked.

"I have no idea what happened! I was working at the laptop, Kenji was playing or watching TV, I have no idea which, and suddenly the smoke alarm goes off! I grabbed Kenji and the laptop and left, of course. That's all I know!"

She burst into tears and buried her face in Kenshin's chest, clinging for what seemed to be dear life. He blinked at her before holding her close and attempting to soothe her. He thought over her explanation as he did this; it seemed plausible, but why did he have this niggling doubt that there was something she wasn't mentioning? His inner debate was cut off when he felt a tugging at his pant leg. He looked down to see Kenji gazing up at him, tears in his eyes. Kenshin pried Kaoru from him and picked up his son, comforting him just as he had tried to comfort his wife. He continued patting his son's back and looked to Kaoru.

"It's all right. Really. I'm just glad you two are safe and unharmed."

Whatever else Kenshin might have said was cut off as the person who seemed to be the head fireman walked over.

"It's alright folks; we managed to contain the blaze. I'm afraid the kitchen was completely ruined by the smoke. But, you're lucky. The flame was restrained to just the kitchen and did minimal damage."

Kenshin looked confused at that, and perhaps a bit hesitant. He carefully set Kenji down before focusing completely on the fireman.

"The kitchen? You must be mistaken. I didn't leave anything on in there."

His tone of voice suggested he wasn't certain of that last statement, but he remained resolute.

"Well, sir, I'm afraid that you are mistaken. It's definitely the kitchen. But, it seems you'll only have to replace the microwave, or what used to be the microwave; that's the only thing damaged by the flames itself."

Kenshin's bafflement grew.

"What caused the fire?"

Kenshin saw Kaoru fidgeting from the corner of his eyes, and all thoughts suddenly pieced themselves together. The kitchen. Kaoru. Her hesitance in speaking. His eyes widened and he turned to her.

"What were you doing in the kitchen!"

The guilty face that came over her did nothing to comfort him.

"Kaoru, answer me! What were you doing in the kitchen!"

"I was-"

"You're not allowed in the kitchen! You know this! I firmly stated it nine years ago when you nearly burnt down your apartment building when you tried to put out the grease fire with water! What were you doing in there!"

"I was-"

"And to completely disregard my rules! And the safety of our son! Shame on you, Kaoru!"

"But-"

"Daddy, it was my fault."

This effectively cut off Kenshin's tirade where Kaoru's pathetic interjections did not.

"What?"

"I wanted a cookie. A warm one, like you gave me when we made the cookies earlier. So I asked Mommy to make me one. She tried to make me wait for you, she really did! But, I wanted the cookie, so she tried to make it for me. I'm sorry!"

"So," the fireman interrupted their conversation, "this was all due to a cookie?"

Kaoru nodded hesitantly. To her surprise, and a blow to her ego, the man began to laugh.

"Oh, that's great! Wait until I tell this to the boys at the precinct; they'll get a hoot out of it."

And he walked off laughing. Kenshin turned back to Kaoru, who was once again not looking at him. Kenshin took in her stance and mentally sighed. Let the groveling begin.

"Kaoru?"

Silence.

"Love?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I was frustrated, knowing that this happened and not being able to stop it. To find out that it happened in the kitchen, which neither of you really work in alone, made me angry, because I believed I had left something unattended. That anger had to go somewhere, but I'm sorry you weathered the brunt of it."

A sniff met his ears. Kenshin walked up behind her slowly before tentatively resting a hand on her shoulder. Her body stiffened immediately and remained that way for a few seconds before relaxing marginally. Kenshin mentally heaved a relieved sigh as he took his wife into his arms, hugging her gently from behind.

"Dutch chocolate ice cream for dessert as an apology?" Kaoru asked softly.

Kenshin grinned into her hair, knowing that she had already forgiven him. That was the code they had wordlessly agreed on to save them both some pride in a situation like this.

"Of course."

Kaoru nodded and settled herself a bit more comfortably in his arms. They stood like that, with Kenji quietly wrapped around their legs, until the firemen cleared their house and left. The small family meandered back into the house and settled into the den, content to just sit in each other's presence for a bit. Well, until Kenji got tired of the silence. He got up and walked over to Kenshin, who was snuggling with Kaoru on the couch.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Kenji?"

"I never did get it, so can I have my cookie now?"

Kaoru and Kenshin looked at each other and laughed. Then, they went together into the kitchen: Kaoru to learn proper use of the microwave, Kenshin to fulfill both roles of cook and teacher, and Kenji to finally retrieve another warm chocolate chip cookie.

* * *

A/N: This story by itself logged over 2700 words, for anyone who cares. This was inspired by a conversation that took place a couple of months ago over Panda Express food, in which a friend of mine related the time his mother caught a cookie on fire in much the same way Kaoru did. I'm not sure how old my friend was at the time, nor how his family reacted, but that's where artistic license comes in. I know that Kaoru is getting better as a cook, and that it's silly to think that Kaoru wouldn't know how to use a microwave, but….it's so easy to pick on the poor Tanuki. I hope you forgive me this once. I'm not sure how much damage a fire like that would have caused, so we'll pretend it's mostly smoke. And, just to cover all my bases, let's also pretend that Kenji doesn't mind his parents doing things like hugging and snuggling, so long as they let him in whenever he wants. 

I think that's everything. Thanks for reading!


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